When You've Found It...

I'm certain once in one's lifetime, the question has been asked, "How and when will I know that this love is true, genuine and real?" 

From experience, it is a question which cannot be answered by even the most theoretically, educated and complex explanation. It is a question which is most times met with unsatisfying answers. Truth is, no one else but you can answer this question for yourself. Love is the same but different for all.

At a time in my life, I was fortunate enough to experience what I felt was true love for me and I'll share these experiences with you.

As a grown woman I have been in a few relationships and as imaginable all these relationships have been different and special in their unique rights but the relationship I will share with you is one which has set a benchmark so high that I refuse to let go of these standards.

In this relationship I was exposed to a love so pure that I never had to feel as though I was not good enough, as though I had to be a certain someone, carry a certain title or even look or speak a certain way to be accepted and loved perfectly. I was taken as I am, nothing was subtracted from my being but instead so much more good was added. #1 Love should not take from you but instead it should add onto and better what you already have.

In this relationship it did not matter what or how many arguments we had but a day would never pass without us making peace and moving on. A previous argument was never brought into a new one, grudges were things we knew nothing of. An argument was never personal, the one was never shamed, criticized nor belittled in the process. #2 Love does not belittle or cause harm.

I was awakened to a love that didn't require fancy outings and gifts to be beautiful and exciting. When they happened they were great but they were not the core elements which made the relationship. Simple acts of kindness, respect, loyalty, complimentary utterances were what made us. #3 Love should be based on the Subject and not the Objects.

Often most females desire this quality in their partners but only a few receive it. Close attention to detail. You want your partner to know and understand every facet of you. Strange enough I didn't go looking for this quality but received so much of it. Little things like the changed color of my lipstick I'd get told, "Something is different, did you change your lipstick?" and bingo! "You smell different, did you change your perfume?" and bingo! Some females will change their hairstyles completely and their partners will not even notice. #4 Love is patient enough to know fully and understand its partakers/participants.

Without numbering any further, through this relationship I was awakened to the fact that true love does not diminish with time, true love is stronger today than what it was yesterday. True love is liberating and exciting. True love is not a burden but constantly seeks to serve and appreciate. True love ages with the years and like wine it truly truly gets better and better. This kind of love does not seek to cheat, it is not interested in such time wasting, heart wrenching frivolities. True love is single-eyed and one-minded.

True love is TIMELESS... If you have not found this kind of love, trust me, it is worth waiting for!

Annual Remembrance Of My Existence

Reflection & Appreciation

Once a year every year, we all unavoidably get reminded of the day we were born and often this day is met with great enthusiasm as well as tons of expectations from ourselves to those around us. We expect to be celebrated and showered with messages, calls, gifts etc. at times we go as far as expect surprise getaways and parties or even plan our own.

While there is nothing wrong with this and being celebrated, have you taken the time to celebrate yourself? I mean taken the time to do some deep, honest and truthful introspection? To awe at the milestones you have overcome and conquered? The person you have become today?

While it's purely human to have expectations this can often lead to many disappointments, disappointments which might even be hard to fathom because, hello! it's my birthday, how could so and so not do such and such???? But then I say, why should so and so do such and such when you haven't done it for yourself when you actually can? I'm sure you get my point.

While it's okay to get celebrated, it is far more important to celebrate yourself!! The world will more fully celebrate a self-celebrated monument.

Self-Celebrated Monument

The beauty of being a self celebrated monument is that you are able to celebrate others even when it isn't their day or any special occasion.

This year particularly, I don't know why, maybe I'm growing up?? But I felt a deep sense of gratitude towards my parents, particularly my mom, the main reason that I am here today and celebrated. Had it not been for them, there would be nothing for those around me to celebrate today. Had it not been for my mom, her role and teachings, I would not be who and where I am today.

She is a self-celebrated monument that has celebrated me all the years of her life and my life will live on to celebrate hers all the days of my life.

New Year, New Leap, New Leaf

My annual remembrances serve as anniversaries which drive me to turning new leafs and planning new leaps. It is a time for me to reflect over all I have overcome and achieved in the past year and a time for me to plan and set out my pinnacles for the year to come.

As the years add on, I like to view myself as a barrel bearing precious goods, a barrel which should only bear fruitful gifts when the time has come and obviously this can only be achieved if I add good elements to this barrel. 

It is my journey and not a race, it is my path to take and my lessons to learn. I came alone and alone shall I return. I am celebrated because I have celebrated myself..

I am a Self-Celebrated Monument