Blossoms in June

PICTURESQUE BLOSSOMS

As a South African living in South Africa, June to me means Winter. It brings the anticipation of cold mornings, misty days and dark early nights. 

The universe has taught that no good can come from darkness and oft times Winter is looked upon with gloom, without hope of anything beautiful or bright blooming...

I will liken June to a season in one's life...

June, I was weary of you, I was told of your coldness and gloom. June, I anticipated your coming with somber emotions, I thought you had no good to offer, that you would possess me, make me yours and remove all light in me. June, I thought you would snatch me from my walls of warmth and leave me out in the cold to freeze myself to sleep. June I had expected you to be a dark cloud, overshadowing me all the time.

Boy was I wrong...

June, you taught me that even in the cold, my breath remains warm, that my heart will continue to pump warm blood into my vessels. June, you beauty, your quaint breeze tantalized my senses and awoke my goosebumps. You read my skin like braille while I wrote poetry about your picturesque motions, swirls and twirls.

You're not easy like a Sunday morning but you're beauty is like Paris in Spring time.

-I am Pam, The Nubian Goddess, An African Woman of Substance-

Newness Of Life

How often have you heard the saying, "If God has brought me to it He will get me through it"? Do you look at challenges as refining experiences or the contrary?

It's been about 3 months since I published an article and so much has happened in those 3 months, almost a newness of life...

See I choose to see challenges as forerunners for blessings rather than blessings as forerunners for challenges. I have been through the fiery furnace and have I not come out renewed?!

God places us in circumstances we deem unreal and almost unbearable but who are you to determine you're not strong enough and could never get through whatever hurdle you've been curbed with? Are you not made of His image, possessing the same power He does?

So often in life we underestimate ourselves, feel less than what we should, get blinded by what is not over what is, we look beyond and fail to see what is right before us, we're quick to say we can't before even fathoming we can, we doubt our faith before doubting our very doubts.

In the 3 months I have been away I have been challenged, I have been blessed, I have lost a loved one but regained her as an eternal spiritual companion, I've descended only to be elevated, I've lost and gained, I've cried and laughed, felt weak and unable only to be uplifted and stronger than my weaknesses, I have been exposed to raw truth but fallen in love with it's brutality, I have felt alone in a crowd but have learned to enjoy my own company, I felt like I was losing myself at some point but, but I have gained a newness of life.

Like kinks and coils that go through different stages and phases of their growth life cycle, so are our lives and the patterns they follow.

It is your journey and refinement, you are a gem that takes its own form and shape, you exude beauty and strength from your uniqueness.

You are a rebirth that keeps evolving...

-I am Pam, The Nubian Goddess, An African Woman of Substance-

...Nirvana...

EXHALE

At any stage of your life, have you ever reached a state where it didn't matter what happened around you but you just had peace, love and happiness in your heart? 

It didn't matter who did what to upset you or said what to demean you, it just had no effect on you? Where all you wanted to do was just smile with gladness in your heart and say "it's all good, I'm grateful for love and life"?

Have you ever exhaled and just felt so much lighter with your next inhalation? Have you ever felt the deep desire to forgive even without an apology? To live and appreciate, to embrace and laugh foolishly? 

Have you ever had a burning impression to love yourself more than what you have come to? To review, ignite and invest in yourself?

Have you ever reached a state of enough is enough, what the heck, I matter too, what about me, what about what makes me happy, what ignites my soul, drives and fulfills me? A state of I am taking this time to love me and perfectly so??

FIND YOUR NIRVANA

In Hinduism and Buddhism, "nirvana" is considered "a place of perfect peace and happiness, like Heaven. It is the highest state a person can attain, a state of enlightenment."

Although it should not be so, in life we allow so many factors to punish, hurt, embarrass and even take away from us and who we are. I for one have endured more than I should've, settled when I knew I shouldn't have, gave way where I shouldn't have, opened doors I knew I shouldn't have but, but, I am not regretful or resentful. The peace I feel today would not be as pleasurable had I not gone through those experiences and walked those thorny paths.

Tata Madiba said, "There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." Further, it is my believe that to appreciate the sweetness, I need to experience the bitterness, to acknowledge the light, I need to embrace the dark, to levitate I need to gravitate, gravitate to a more supernal state.

I am working towards my nirvana, my place of perfect peace and happiness. A place that'll constantly remind me that I am worth every bit of all the love I gave but never received in return, that'll remind me I could've kept it all but then I wanted to make the world whole. A place that'll allow me to step over clovers to breathe in the gardenias always fulfilling my lungs with sweet brevity and replace reality for just a moment. A place that'll remind me I am a flame and not carbon because carbon stays and flame always rises.

I realize that nirvana is not a place out there but a constant journey within me...

-I am Pam, The Nubian Goddess, An African Woman of Substance-

An Open Letter To My Love: Nompumelelo Masibi

INFINITE

Dear Mpumz,

It is always said that in life some come for a season and some for a reason. In our instance, I can only hope it is for infinite seasons and endless reasons.

It was back in 2010 when I met you for the very first time. We were both young, unmarried, no kids, no employment, fresh out of school with a bag full of dreams and hopes.

Was it love at first sight? I cannot exactly recall but I don't think so. We were both shy at first and being Christian's of the same faith there was this irrational fear that one would be judged if we were to honestly share our shortcomings, but like any other relationship, we have matured and grown so beautifully into our friendship, or what I would like to call it, our sisterhood.

In dark days you have consistently been my light, in somber rainy days you have taught me to dance in the rain whilst never failing to make me laugh, in good days you have been there to gallop under the sunshine with me, in reaching milestones and pinnacles, you have been there to cheer me on and celebrate with me, when I have been wrong you have lovingly called me out, when I've been right you've likewise acknowledged with a warm smile.

People have come into my life and left without a trace, however, in my heart I have found your footprints which have been etched and are living proof that you have always been there and so consistent in your love for me.

In you I have found a sister, a confidant, a best friend, a mentor, a healer, an angel without wings and one who will love me without reservations.

Thank you for staying consistent in an ever changing world, thank you for loving me for who I am in an ever opportunistic and hungry world and thank you for taking my heart and caring for it as your own,

Countless as the sands of the sea, is my never failing love for you...

Rejection...

Can You Hide From It...?

Rejection is probably by far one thing which I fear, one thing which for a long time I struggled to deal with and here and there still have my challenges but then what does one do when faced with rejection?

Often I have resolved, "because I cannot deal with it, I will forever strive to avoid situations which might expose me to rejection." Sounds like a good idea right?

From experience I have unfortunately learned that whilst it might sound like a good idea theoretically, it isn't very practical... how do you progress without opposition? How do you overcome without experience? How do you build courage and an unwavering spirit?

Nelson Mandela once said, "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

I've been exposed to factors which have taught that the best way to deal with rejection is to accept, yes to accept. Accept that sometimes rejection is God's protection, accept that I am worthy of better, accept that if I live for people's acceptance I will die from their rejection, accept that your rejection might be your redirection, accept that although a rude one, your rejection was an awakening,

Above all, never reject yourself. Love yourself enough to know you deserve better, respect yourself enough to walk away from any rejection which taints and takes away from you, never stop believing in yourself, rejection should never lead to insecurity. You are enough, he/she/they were never ready for what you had to offer, knock on bigger doors, you have been enabled. He/she/they ignore you? Treat you like a thing of naught? Declined your application? Disapproved of you and your moral standing? It's fine! Move on! It's not the end, never was! It's a redirection, take those steps.

I have learned to allow my rejection to lacerate me from situations which would lead to my laceration. 

- I am Pam, The Nubian Goddess, an African Woman of Substance -

Staying True

STAMP OF APPROVAL

Being a visionary, when 2017 commenced I decided to create a vision board for things and attributes I'd want to achieve in the year, similar to what I'd done with other years. One of these attributes being to remain true to oneself in all avenues of life.

With the existing belief that I had always done my best to remain true to myself , I was mislead into thinking this would be as easily attainable. Isn't it funny how when one makes a plan to set a foot forward the universe somehow creates gravity against that movement?

 I recently found myself in an acquaintanceship where it's activities didn't quite gel with who I am, what I believe in, what I stand for and what I am looking for, but for some reason I found myself lingering in it longer than what I believe I should have. I knew that I know better but found myself baffled as to why I was even debating whether to linger longer or not. Maybe I was awaiting some stamp of approval? Something to validate or right what was not?

We might not realize it but at times we allow ourselves to stay in situations which harm and take from us but choose to remain in these situations because what will people say, how will they look at me? If I stand up and audibly voice my stand point I might not get that stamp of approval, I might be less popular or it might take from my demeanor...

But...

BE TRUE & STAY TRUE

With this picture which happens to be identical to the one on my vision board, I knew I had to gather the courage to reclaim my truth, because truth be told, I knew I was lying to myself. I knew the acquaintanceship had to come to an end sooner or later, I knew it didn't add the value I needed.

 Finding myself in this rather conflicting and confusing situation, I decided to take my courageous leap, I say courageous because it isn't always easy putting yourself and your needs first, you first become crowded by feelings and thoughts of "they will think I am selfish, demanding, unhappy etc." but I decided to listen to my heart, I decided to follow my intuition, I decided to stand for what I truly believe in and what I felt I needed. It wasn't easy but the choice to choose truth and authenticity is ever so liberating.

Love yourself enough to stay true to yourself, Invest in yourself enough to know what you deserve and what you don't, Commit to yourself , needs and beliefs and ascertain whether where you are is where you should or shouldn't be, lastly Discover your worth and potential and live on to embrace it... Doubt your doubts before you doubt your worth and potential.

-I am Pam, the Nubian Goddess, an Africa Woman of Substance-

Bed of Roses

Whilst listening to Bon Jovi's "Bed of Roses", my attention was captured by a certain phrase, "For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails".

This had me thinking and being my inquisitive self, I found myself asking, why nails? Were they a mere metaphor for something else? but for what and why? I certainly couldn't come up with answers for these questions but for a second thought, how many nails do we create and gather for ourselves? How many uncomfortable situations do we create? How many uncomfortable situations do we linger in and entertain? Why? Why do we create room for it?

A close friend of mine sent me a message this morning which mentioned how we have become victims of a notion which dictates we are not in control of our emotions. "I lost my temper", "He made me angry", "But I can't help it". Whilst reading this I was reminded of a phrase from one of our older Church Prophets, Brigham Young who said, "He who takes offense when offense is intended is a fool but he who takes offense when none is intended is an even bigger fool".

Why lie on this bed of nails when you can choose to lie on a bed of roses? Why allow things to get to you when they can glide off like water off a duck's back? Why hold on to this jagged knife which keeps cutting you when you can release and let go? Why drown under deep waters when you can rise above them and exhale? Do you feel you do not have the power and capacity to do so?

Exhale the negativity, let go of the pessimism, the belief that you cannot and therefore you will not. Exhale the desperate need to belong, what has gone wrong and what has not gone right, Exhale the doubt, the notion that you have not been enabled to achieve and control yourself and alter ego.

Learn to inhale, to inhale positivity, the optimism that anything is possible and achievable. Inhale the agency provided to choose for oneself. Inhale the sprinkles of sunshine and hope. Inhale life, take a deep breath and feel as life fills your lungs and broadens your horizons. Open yourself up to possibility and risks, take chances, leaps of faith and gallops of happiness. Create your own bed of roses, there will be thorns and some might sting, but they are ever so worth it. The good and the bad come together to form a beautiful picture.

Inhale calm, Exhale stress, Inhale the future, Exhale the past...

-I am Pam, the Nubian Goddess, a Woman of Substance-

Love... 21st Century Myth?

MYTHICAL ART 

Whilst browsing through my social media feed a while ago, I came across a post which read, "Real love, a 21st Century Myth".  Not knowing at the time how the publisher intended for the reader to perceive this post, it triggered a few thoughts in me...

Love and Myth... could this be joined together in one sentence? Was the significance of love depreciated to a mere myth? But then I asked myself, could it be that I am undermining the meaning and depth of the definition of "myth"...? What is a myth anyway? Well according to Google a myth is depicted as a traditional story, especially one concerning the early history of a people or explaining a natural or social phenomenon, typically involving supernatural beings or events. How wrongly and lightly had I judged "myth"? Is love not a natural phenomenon? Are we not all supernal beings?

MYTHICAL UNCONVENTIONAL LOVE

If you're a fan of Game of Thrones you will understand what was happening in the picture above, the characters backgrounds as well as the meaning of my caption for this picture. Khaleesi was taken and sold to Khal Drogo in marriage for power but because love is love and we are a supernal people of love, love becomes a natural phenomenon, natural in the sense that no one can ever teach you how to love, who to love and when to love.

Love comes to you when you least expect or want it, it comes to you in faces you never imagined or places you ever comprehended. It is mythical and majestic, it ignites in you feelings you never thought existed. It takes you and carries you... how you land, how you embrace, is entirely up to you.

The 21st Century has taught "good things come to those that get up and chase them", contrary to the original "good things come to those that wait" but it is not so with love, it is expedient that one waits on love, that one loves themselves perfectly before offering themselves to love another.

Love is what you make of it, Your Myth... Your Fairytale!